25 Jokes and One-Liners About AI & Tech

Obviously we think AI is the best thing since sliced bread, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a sense of humour over here at SalesApe HQ. Here are 26 of our favorite jokes and quotes when it comes to AI and the digital world! 

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• "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing." 

• Emo Philips

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• "I, for one, welcome our new computer overlords."

• Ken Jennings (Jeopardy! Champion, after being beaten by IBM's Watson)

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• "AI is like a toddler: It’s amazing what it can do, but you still shouldn't leave it alone with a credit card or the car keys."

• Don McMillan

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• "I’m not worried about AI passing the Turing test. I’m worried about the humans who are currently failing it."

• Jimmy Carr

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• “AI is the most embarrassing thing we’ve invented. It’s basically the opposite of the Nike slogan. ChatGPT's slogan should be: 'You just can't do it.'”

• Jerry Seinfeld

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• “You look like a group of people who looked at the self-checkout counters at CVS and thought, ‘This is the future.’ ... 
• “I'm not worried about AI replacing me. Can AI sit in a fleece vest at a bar all day and do nothing?”

• John Mulaney

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• “I’m not afraid of robots taking over the world. I’m afraid of being the guy who has to explain to a robot why I haven't done my dishes yet. 'I was tired, Optimus! My biological battery was at 4%!'”

• Bill Burr

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• "Thanks to you people, my three-year-old son will never talk to an actual human again. Instead, a little cartoon Einstein will pop up, give him a 'sort of' good answer, and then refer him to another chatbot."

• John Mulaney (on AI raising children)

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• "AI is like a toddler. You spend all this time teaching it, and then it uses its new knowledge to draw a picture of you naked on the living room wall."

• Jason Jones

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• "AI is getting smarter every day. That's good, because pretty soon we'll need their help to figure out how to use our smartphones."

• Steven Wright

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• "Microsoft saying Windows is 'reliable' is like saying asparagus is the 'most articulate vegetable ever.'"

• Dave Barry

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• "For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three."

• Alice Kahn

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• "The only thing AI can't replace is the human ability to be deeply, irrationally offended by something a robot said."

• Jena Friedman

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• "Where is the 'any' key? I see Esk, Catarl, and Pig-up... but there's no 'any'!"

• Homer Simpson

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• "I’m not worried about AI taking over the world. I can barely get my Roomba to clean under the couch."

• Rita Rudner

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• "AI doesn't have a soul, which makes it perfect for a career in corporate middle management."

• Josh Johnson

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• "Artificial intelligence would be better placed to understand the humor we create than the other way around."

• Bob Mankoff

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• "The only difference between me and a self-driving car is that I can still blame my mistakes on the driver."

• Emo Philips

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• "To err is human, but to really foul things up, you need a computer."

• Unknown (Classic Tech Witticism)

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• "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers."

• Sydney J. Harris

• "I don't know what AI is. I don't think you get to know what AI is and also see a donkey jump off a high dive. I think it was one or the other—and I saw the donkey, so I'm out".

• Nate Bargatze
  
  

• "AI is scary because it knows it's smarter than us".

• Don McMillan
  
  

• "Customers look at Microsoft's Copilot and think, 'Oh great, Clippy 2.0!'".

• Marc Benioff (CEO of Salesforce) on product comparisons
  
  

• "The potential of AI is limitless—our meetings, sadly, are not".

• Satya Nadella (CEO of Microsoft) on the modern workspace
  
  

• "I’m all for AI; there’s a shortage of the real thing".

• Charlie Munger 

Got any of your own you think should be added to this list? Let us know hello@salesape.ai 

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